The Cosmos

I don't understand how I can continuously study for one test more than the previous one throughout the semester, yet still score progressively lower than the last one each time. Sheesh, give me some help here.

Another thing I don't get: Why do people believe that every picture on their digital camera is worth keeping? I mean the whole invention of the camera was to get rid of pictures that come out bad, but somehow they all pile up until the memory is shot and you have to systematically delete every single stupid headshot of your brother's face (ok, obviously this post wasn't entirely about you, the reader. I wouldn't alienate my audience now, would I?).

Could it be laziness? Vanity? That perhaps my face looks good here, but not there and that maybe if I wait awhile, it would get better and then I'll decide whether to delete it or not. I would go with the latter. This is interesting because I also believed that digital cameras were supposed to make it easier to access your pictures. Now, it's just sitting there on disks (when someone is not lazy enough to actually put it on a disk) or on the camera...taking up memory. And I'm talking not just 100 or so pictures that you have to deal with on this memory card...it's like in the hundreds and hundreds of random, unneeded, wacked out, strange, stupid pictures that JUST TAKE UP SPACE!

While I'm at it, another topic: Sensuality

Yes...I'm not talking about sexuality, just to make it clear. The fact that it is inherent in desi culture not to even get near the *idea* of sex is a bit weird when it comes out in its applicable form.

For example, I am sitting with my dad as usual watching the evening news, when the topic of abortion comes out (and of course it's on all the channels) so that when my dad flips to CBS, the news anchor screams "And now...ABORTION!" and my dad quickly jumps to another channel. ("ABORTION!" says PBS). This tends to go on and on. Before it happened when the topic was stem cell research.

Ok, so I'm pre-med. As I sit there, quite amused might I say, by my dad's precarious desire to protect my "virgin ears", I wonder what would happen if at an interview to medical school they ask me, "So what do you think about the stem cell research controversy and possible solutions to this whole mess?"

Umm....I'm not allowed to talk about it?

I don't think that would fly (just a guess). That was a more serious reason why I roll my eyes. Even more serious is the fact that I get kicked out of MY basement everytime my parents are watching a (pg rated) movie. Come on now...you can fast forward through the kissing at least? And look at Bollywood...there IS NO kissing. It's just a bunch of women (and scrumptiously men at times) whose torso gets unprecedented screen time in cinema history. And besides, these are happy people that break out into song at random times throughout the movie...how wholesome can you get?

Such is life and how it all comes together for me.

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By the way, I just found out today that Nina Simone looks JUST like one of my best friends. And with the whole 60s outfit, the picture captured her personality EXACTLY. Even that defiant eyebrow...wooh! You go girl!

Christmas Songs and All The Rest Of It

I woke up so early this morning (6:40 a.m. to be percise) and came to class just to find out (and remember) that it was cancelled. So on I sauntered over to the RSC lounge to figure out what to do with myself. As I sat down in one of the plush seats eating my cream cheese and jelly bagel, I finally tuned into the background music that was playing Christmas songs.

What is it about these songs that make me turn into a Scrooge every year? I think I realized this after hearing this particular one. It wasn't any of the original Christmas songs (I think) and it was newer and original. That's much better. Because after 20 plus years of hearing the same lyrics and version of the same song over and over, it's just a song way out of style for me.

I know, I know. Some people (bah humbug) actually hold special meaning for these songs. Well, I do too. For example, the song "Rockin' around the Christmas Tree" reminds me that I need to rent a copy of Home Alone before it all gets checked out for Thanksgiving Day. Oh yes, and "Deck the Halls" reminds me of the time in Kindergarten when I FINALLY got to dress up as an angel (a true testament that my teacher despised me after I waited oh so long to wear that golden halo) and sing in front of the auditorium. And "Frosty the Snowman" what memories. Aside from the fact that I had a "Little Golden Book" with half the pictures torn out, wrinkled, or just plain looking miserable, it reminds me of boring and sad cartoons that come on my not so cable tv during the holidays.

Yes, I love this time of year. I even broke little children's hearts. I distinctly remember the face of one little boy who I told way back when (yes, it was in kindergarten. Since my teacher thought I was the spawn of Satan, I might as well tell a story to live up to that reputation) that Santa Claus doesn't exist, yo. I was very excited to find out this piece of information and thought the boy's face would light up in surprise. No, it actually dimmed as a hint of fear and uncertainty crossed his face. I'm sure his parents told him not to hang around this rotten kid anymore.

I guess the only difference was that he got presents from Santa and I didn't, so what should I care?

Bah humbug.

Ok, on a happier note, after listening to that song in the lounge I also realized (like I realized about my thing for winter/fall* that these songs don't bother me as much anymore. It seems like I am back in the flow of things, and more comfortable this time around with Christmas time (I mean, like cha Christmas sales, hello farsharrrr).

Haha, just kidding. I love you vierd Amerikan peoples.

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*from my "other" blog 9/14/05 titled "I am Falling in Love..."


...with winter. And the idea of a cat. Although I have mentioned the cat before, I have to say, winter was never a season I even liked. In fact, I have always hated it. The murky clouds, bare trees, freezing temperatures outside and inside the house, early darkness, even more restricted lifestyle, hell who wouldn't like winter if they were me?

But somehow, the sky is misty, and the night is a comfort, the cold is a reason for warmth through my renewed interest in sweaters (*cough*fashion*cough*), and the proverbial idea of curling up to a good book with a warm cup of coffee (the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte is freakin awesome). Not to mention that during the daytime, the foliage just morphs into a more luscious green. I am talking that comforting deep shade of green that I only remember all too well when I was in Virginia. Man, don't get me started on Virginia and nature...

Neda's Lemon Chicken on Noodle

Due to the fact that I got unusually high praises for my improvised Lemon Chicken on Noodles recipe last night (and this was from my mother y'all), I am now required to cook dinner every weekend. Which I don't mind, because truthfully I like to make good stuff and eat it. Now if only I can get ingredients for dessert....



In other news, this is going to be an amazingly wonderful Thanksgiving Break. I don't have any papers, tests, book reviews, lab reports, or quizzes due after this break so here is the list of things I'm going to spend time doing:

1. Finish writing the story for MikroKosmos (our school's literary magazine)
2. Spend time with Maria (my sister..yay)
3. Spend time with friends
4. Catch up on movies (see sidebar)
5. Try out Byblos the new Lebanese restaurant downtown (heavenly)
6. Get a make0ver (the works: color, cut, make-up, um...this sounds a bit superficial, but ya'll don't know how much I need/deserve one about now)
7. Catch up on Bollywood (I'm serious, it had to be listed separately. ANd no more SHAH RUKH KhAN!! I am so sick of him even though I would still watch another one of his movies because they are that good. This time it is John Abraham and Akshay Kumar...mmm...eye candy).
8. Turkey day...duh. I cook the side dishes! (and due to the fact that my mom and sister have their way every thanksgiving, I get to call the shots. We get to have stuffing/dressing this year. How can you have thanksgiving turkey without it? yes, our Turkey days were quite hollow the previous years, but no fear--Neda is here to revive it)

Ok, I am listed out. Anybody else want to share their plans? Do people overseas celebrate Thanksgiving Day? I know I heard some places celebrate Halloween (Pakistan!).

Well to each his own.

So Tired, I Forgot to Give This a Title

Before I start cramming in time to finish my pre-lab work, I just have to shout out to the whole world that I am dead tired. I have slept for only three hours last night. This whole week has been sleepless with tests to take (and receive...not so hot). I barely stayed awake in the last few moments of history.

And like the loser that I am, I know I fell asleep during ecology...while sitting in the front row. It's a bit strange how I can actually transcribe words onto a piece of paper and while sleeping. I am not kidding you. It's like my brain has this temporary storage area where I hear what the professor is saying, my hand moves on paper, and somehow I am snoozing away.

Ok, unfortunately, this pre-lab is screaming at me to be written, so you all must wait further for my extremely awesome story about the "Neda doll". Right.

Fear and Happiness

I just have to say, what is up with me and my phobias?

Here are a few wack ones:

1. I can't face any professor outside of the classroom...if I see them at a bookstore (like I just did) or anywhere off campus I will make a quick U-turn and hope they don't see me. It's just weird.

2. I hate putting on make-up in front of people. I wait until everybody is out of the bathroom, or I find an empty one, and then proceed to put it on alone.

3. Spiders within 12 inches from me. Any closer and I can't stand them.

4. Getting yelled at...or lectured. Or both (*shudder*).

5. Losing a loved one.

6. Having my cell phone ring in the middle of [insert public place here].

Hmm, now that I've established myself as a bit paranoid, let me list some things that are comforting:

1. Green (the more trees, flowers, nature, the better).

2. Pictures of people (even strangers).

3. Television

4. Friends, especially at dusk when a really great conversation is just beginning...

5. Reading

6. Music (although this one is iffy...I have lately become really annoyed with the stuff that plays on the radio and I spend more time changing channels than actually listening to something good).

People and Poetry

I love to read this guy's blog, it makes my day. I never thought his experiences in med school could be so funny. But for those of you with a weak stomach, be warned, there are some pretty gruesome descriptions...and crude ones too, but hey, welcome to his humor.

I must say, this fall it's really beautiful. My latest excuse about why I can't post any pictures of what I see? My sister has the camera. Screw it, I'm getting my own.
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I stepped into the murky jade water
with the trappings of a forrest
ever present inside

Feet dripping wet, I move away
but only slowly
because inside, my feet are too wet

And the feeling does not subside
as the colors subsist inside
my mind and overflow with
Moments and Memories

Of that time? Remember that time,
when the rain felt cold, and the fog's
scent lay a sharp shiver over me

I heard it like the morning dew drops
slithering off the curve of my life
My life that I left behind in that
Emerald City
like the dusky pool in the road
that lay dripping wet memories

Just felt like sharing.

Update

Eid Mubarak to everybody (even though it's a few days early...I'm going to be way too busy to post anything on Eid).

Plans to Lawrence indefinitely postponed. It's like the highlight of the semester when I get to drive up there, but alas, not this weekend. I'm trying to put flickr up for all of you to see some pictures, but my irresponsible dork-faced brothers have lost the charger on my digital camera, and it's pretty difficult to load anything on here otherwise. Until then, my profile picture is the way it is.

Ok, I came on here to write something significant, but it seemed to have slipped my mind. Oh well.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"Dr. Rogers? Hi, my name is Neda. I am in your Biology colloquium class. I'm sorry, but I missed Monday's seminar because, well, my car ran out of gas."

"Your car ran out of gas?"

"Yeah, I'm really sorry. I almost made it, it was just before 29th and Oliver."

"29th and where?"

"Oliver. Look, I know it's sounds weird, but I'm serious, I was in denial about the gas needle--"

"In denial about the needle?"

(At this point I was a bit frustrated about him repeating everything after me like a lame ass parrot)

"Look, I was in class every week this semester..."

"What's your last name?" .......

Ugh. I don't know what's more embarrassing. Running out of gas or explaining it to your professor.