The Crack Effects of Allergy Medications

Definition: Allergy medication refers to Claireton, Allegra D, Tylenol Cold Medicine, Sudafed.

Research: Crack has symptoms generally associated with a heightened central nervous system, sharp rise in heart rate, body temperature, alertness, and excitement, along with increase in confidence and decreased appetite. It follows an intense low involving anxiety, depression, and a restless craving for more. [Reference]

Also observed were commercials for these medications demonstrating the "happy" affect of their products. Subjects frolicked through fields and medows, and at times hallucinate the brandname's logo on mowed lawns.

Hypothesis: The effects of allergy medication on Neda is about a tenth of the feeling one experiences as a crack/cocaine addict.

Null: She is talking some craaaazy shiznit.

Experiment:

Control: Arturo* age 22, male. Big guy who experiences normal relief after the use of said medications.

Variable: Me, age 22, female. The one who experiences a distinct high.

Results:

After the ingestion of medication, the control reportedly felt slight drowsiness and experienced immediate relief of congestion, nausea, sniffles, headache, and related symptoms of cold or allergy.

The variable on the other hand, had issues. Reports of a "floating" experience, increased heart rate, quick burst of energy, nonstop talking, awareness of surroundings and quoted "happiness" abounded. This is after ingesting medication at 10 p.m. and waking unexpectedly at 3 a.m. Subject was unable to sleep thereafter. Attempts were made to hug people. Later problems included clamminess, shivering, sensitivity to touch, dry mouth, nausea, and slight loss of appetite.

Conclusion:

Allergy medication has a definate crack effect on Neda, and one can reject the null hypothesis. Further research may be done to investigate what actually causes these "happy" symptoms.

*Name changed to protect the innocent (don't ask)